Submission vs. Compromise
Just a little more clarification about the difference between submission and compromise:
Submission is when we give up our own thoughts and opinions and preferences, for the sake of another.
Compromise is when we give up God’s thoughts and opinions and preferences, for the sake of another.
Submission pleases God and hurts nothing but our pride. Compromise grieves God. In the short term, it may buy us peace or affection, but in the long run it ruins everyone involved. We have no right to please ourselves by demanding our own way. We have every right—and the responsibility—to please God by insisting, with strength and dignity and resolve, that He gets His way.
In the context of marriage, the wife honors God by submitting to the husband. Although note that in that very context the Bible says that we should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ! Both parties are to have humble, unselfish, considerate, polite hearts. But it is a special responsibility for the wife, of course. In matters when God really hasn’t spoken His desire, the wife should yield to the husband graciously. When the decision honestly just comes down to personal preference, she should cheerfully see to it that the husband is pleased. There’s room for discussion, of course, as long as the wife refrains from any manipulation or nagging. And there’s nothing “unmanly” about the husband changing his mind as a result. But once it’s clear that the husband is choosing a certain course of action, the wife does have a duty to support it in whatever way she can. Whether the topic is food, finances, or whatever, someone has to make the final decision, and that role should belong to the husband. However, if the wife has a conviction that God has spoken a different Thought on the matter, she has no right to violate her conscience and disobey God. That is sin. Even if someone occupying a position of authority gives us a direct order to violate our conscience, we must choose to obey God rather than man. Out of respect for authority—the principle of submission—we will say “no” without any sarcasm or rudeness or condescension.
In any event, this would still remain true: the wife, or husband, must refuse to obey [or be emotionally blackmailed by] ANYONE, if that action or decision or attitude would mean disobeying Jesus.
After all, human authority is only delegated from God, but “all authority in heaven and on earth” has been given to Jesus. Man has none, if it steps outside of His.
a footnote: [In the context of a true 1Cor.12 church (not a cultural religious organization that is unBiblically “attendance-based” and “clergy-laity based”), in a legitimate “hundred mother brother sister” daily church of intimate Christ-centered relationships, a wonderful Gift to the relationship dilemma is possible, also: one could ask, “Would you please bring in ‘two or three’ Luke 9:23-24 disciples to help me understand? I don’t see why what you’re saying is Jesus’ heart, and maybe they could help, with their different Giftings. Or, maybe, they could clear up for you why your request is not from Jesus?” Unfortunately, though, this Biblical process of daily Life is not available to most, though it is Jesus’ Heart and even His Command. Most people today suffer the absence of true Biblical daily Life as God has ordained (Heb.3:12-14, Gal.6:1-4, James 5:16, Acts 2:42-47) in His church and Kingdom of Priests, against which “the gates of Hell cannot prevail.” This is such a rarity in this day. Clearly, there is the likely absence of true Disciples already wrapped up in relationship in the daily lives of these individuals who are in spiritual distress. Without “a hundred mothers, brothers, sisters, lands, and possessions” as Jesus insisted was the Way a church must be, there will be unnecessary crisis and failure and disasters in a family. When we ARE living His Way, in a Church living His Way, many problems, most problems, are “nipped in the bud” and never reach catastrophic proportions. If it is His and in obedience and love of Him, life gets much simpler, with our marriages, teens, and the like. Conversely, without walking in God’s Ways in daily Acts 2:42-47, 1Cor.12, Heb.3:12-14, James 5:15, Life in the first place, it becomes much more difficult to bail out a sinking Titanic with a broken coffee cup later on. We should REALLY consider God’s Truths in the Scriptures about what a church is, what a christian is, and other such important Matters more carefully than what culture has fed us. If we want to see His Fruit, we will only want to build His Way (1Cor.3:10-15). Submission and authority, marriage and child-rearing, and so many other things ONLY make sense and “work” God’s Way when we are building God’s Way in our daily lives and daily in His church.]