Love is Patient
How does the emotion tie in with how you were defining love earlier? But being, “This isn’t about you. It’s about God and His ways.”
Go back to 1st Corinthians 13. Could you read that again, Levi? Now think about this. In what he’s reading, are there emotions associated with anything that he says?
“Love is patient, love is kind…”
Alright, hold on. Is there any feeling or emotion associated with patience?
Yeah, I think so! First of all, patience requires either an ulterior motive or some kind love in your heart to be able to interpret the moment in a way that isn’t all about you and your agenda. Right? So, patience with a child, for example. Like glitter…? ☺
So, patience involves love. You’re not going to be impatient...impatient, impatient, IMPATIENT, IMPATIENT! If you truly love the object of your love there is going to be by definition, some patience in there. And that patience might involve a deep breath. But what’s the thought behind patience, if it’s a child for example that you truly love? What causes you to have that patience? Do you just don’t care? Or something else?
There is something that could make you not want to be patient.
Alright, what kind of reasons would that be?
My pace of life is faster than yours.
I think he’s asking why you would choose to be patient?
Because you want to see the child grow up. You want them to learn patience.
What happens to that child if you’re not patient, event after event after event? You embitter the child, right? You’re going to cause them to react. They’re going to build a wall around themselves. They’re going to have fear. You’re destroying their entire character by being impatient. All because of your agenda and your time schedule and your particular parameters of what’s clean and what’s not clean and what’s timely and what’s not and all that stuff. All these false human definitions that you’re so arrogant as to think you’re God and all of your definitions are the only possible definitions of what clean is and what on-time is and so on. And so you oppose that and basically it’s like a boa constrictor around the throat of your child. There is no possible way you’re not going to affect the entire outcome of their life. And so, patience is loving them enough to have hope and vision for who they could become if you decide to swallow your pride and your selfishness long enough to cultivate and nurture and to work it out, patiently, rather than react based on your arrogance and your agenda and your selfishness. So, patience, there’s an emotion that sees through the moment and the circumstance and loves them enough and cares enough, with a deep breath, to value them beyond the moment and the circumstance and the material object that’s involved in this process.
It’s kind of meeting them where they’re at, too. Where a two-year-old is not going to understand everything you’re saying, necessarily. It’s not just, “Come here, do this!” It’s having the ability to understand that they don’t understand. I’ve had so much of God’s patience towards me, meeting me where I’m at, because I don’t understand.
So, is patience always a feeling? And if not or if so, we’ll go another step. Is patience always a feeling or is sometimes it’s just a decision?
It’s definitely a decision.
Okay, it’s always a decision. But could it also be a feeling? And would the child know the difference? Ooh… Ooh! Now we’re starting to get into something important -- that thing of cultivating emotion. Because if I just choose to be patient, they’re going to feel the difference. They’re going to see through it. And they’re going to know that we made a calculated decision to take a deep breath and be patient. They’re going to feel that, you see, and that won’t do the same valuable thing.
And they might result in trying to test your patience more.
Yeah, it’s a contest. How would you know that? ☺
So, patience, if it’s not an emotion, actually could be destructive. We have to cultivate the emotion of patience, which is somehow related to love, to see and feel them, and to see and feel their future, to see and feel the outcome of this thing. Should I choose to think of it through my eyes instead of through theirs? So, yeah, there better be some emotion of patience related to it. Because if it’s just a calculated decision, we’re really not protecting their hearts. We’re protecting their time, maybe. But we’re not protecting their hearts unless we cultivate the emotion of patience, where we look at them and, “They’re just cute!” They blew this thing really bad but it’s so cute that they have glitter all over their tongue. That’s so cute. “Stay right there, try not to swallow. I’m going to take a picture.” ☺
I remember years ago where you said, imagine a father interacting with a son. Now imagine a 65-year-old grandfather interacting with that same child. There’s just a way that “grandparents” interact with children that’s just so much different than how normal parents can at least be tempted to act with a child. Grandparents always seem to have all the time in the world and there’s just a huge amount of generosity that they have. And you were encouraging us at the time to love one another with that kind of grandfatherly-ness kind of thing. Do you remember that at all?
Yeah, the concept at least.