Love Gives All…No Take Backs
This is just one of those little tidbits about relationships that might be worthwhile. One of the most potentially damaging things in any relationship is a thing called “insecurity.” Mitchel likes to tell the joke about: “In a previous life I must have been a great and mighty king, because I want everybody to obey me now!”
Well, when you’re secure in Christ and secure in His love, then you don’t have to have 10,000 proofs of another human’s love in order to be at rest. Those things can be worked out over time and it is more blessed to give than to receive and unrequited love that 10,000 poems have been written about, and 10,000 wars have been started over, isn’t the worst thing that could ever happen to you! Let’s say it doesn’t work out the way you want it to. (That’s not going to happen because you guys have your eyes on your Maker.) But there are plenty of things on the planet that don’t work out well. This is not one of them, but in worst-case scenarios, the beauty of it is if we’re secure, we don’t have to be obeyed. We don’t have to have been a mighty king in a previous life: “Do what I say!” It doesn’t have to have anything to do with getting recognition, being remembered, the comparison junk. All that stuff is very unhealthy and damaging. So much of it just begins “between our ears,” and it blossoms into a poisonous plant.
The security that starts with being able to look in Jesus’ eyes whenever we feel slighted, or un-included or disrespected or blah-blah-blah. There’s no place for that. You didn’t just get a license to be that way. “I now am a great and mighty king!” “Nooo, you’re not!” :) You don’t have to get overwhelmed with appreciation at every moment. There are going to be times when he’s busy with schoolwork or work or some other thing, some other place that is taking cycles. It’s taking something from his heart and his mind. And the compassion that says: “You know, I want to understand. I want to be here for you, instead of demand something from you at all times.” That insecurity stuff, either to be in charge, be in control, be respected or to be appreciated, be loved, to be flattered, to be lavished upon, it’s all nonsense. As you said, the Seeking first the Kingdom doesn’t stop here! It’s embellished, it’s expanded. The facets of the diamond are shining all the brighter as of today. Your weak spots are being covered and your strengths are being enhanced as of today. And that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not good for man to be alone. It was God’s plan that whenever possible, whenever the right people in the right situation emerge, that it is God’s plan that the cord of three strands is not easily broken.
And that’s all right, but it can’t ever begin to be about you as a person. Nothing in life was ever meant to be about “me” and what I get out of it. And so those who are single or those who have been married much longer, it’s still got to all be about Jesus or we’ve lost something precious in the translation. It’s never ever meant to turn towards us and our satisfaction, our comfort, our personal security. What we want. If the “what we want” dominates our thought, we’re robbing from Jesus and we’re damaging each other. We’re not being a joy, but rather a burden. The beauty of the cross is that it gives everything and doesn’t need to be right, doesn’t need to be respected, doesn’t need to be obeyed, doesn’t need to be loved and cherished. It doesn’t need anything other than Jesus and then the cross of giving. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Not many people have ever discovered that Jesus was right about that, because they keep coming back to themselves all the time as the center point. And there’s no Life there. There’s nothing supernatural there. There’s nothing for us there.
The treasure is to lose our life, that we might find it. Not with the goal of finding it. If you’re losing your life, you don’t have any more goals for yourself. It’s just true. It’s just like gravity. It’s just a truth. If you lose your life for Jesus and for others, you’ll find it. But it’s never a manipulative ploy, a tactic, a strategy. “I lost my life last week. Now where is it? Give it! Give it to me!! Give me! Give me! Give me!” “I did lose my life. Remember that one time I lost my life? Remember that one time I sacrificed everything?” You just disqualified the whole thing, because you were still noticing yourself. So, nobody can make you do these things. If there’s anybody on the planet that understands how hard it is for a human, a complex human like you, like me, to truly lay everything on the altar with no take backs. I have seen it all. I’ve felt it all. I’ve been the brunt of all of the retaliation for even saying these things to somebody face to face. And as somebody pointed out the other day, there were a hundred of us in the cul-de-sac and somebody said that if you had said any of that just to a person sitting down in a chair at a table, they’d be furious at you. But it was easy because it was a crowd and everybody could just nod and say “Yeah, uhuh! Yeah, I get it! Uhuh.”
But the nature of life is that it’s always a face to face thing. It’s a decision that we make inside of our heart to let go! No take backs. No matter how this turns out. I am not even going to notice how it turns out because it’s not about me. I’m 3 feet tall. I’m not the important one here in this picture. So, grab the hand and enjoy the ride and don’t ever, ever, ever let anything come back to being about you and what you want and your rights and your comfort. You let go of it all and just see. If the seed falls to the ground and dies, it bears much fruit.