"Chivalry" is Not Dead


Sunday Morning, October 12, 2003

So, WHY is it that the men ought to care for, protect and consider the women? Why should they go out of their way to make sure a sister gets across the city without having to go alone on an interstate with children?

Part of it, yes, is the safety factor—to keep them from getting stuck on an interstate with a flat tire, by themselves. Or to keep them from being murdered outside a gymnasium where crimes have happened before even! (Yes, that really did happen.) There’s this other story of some saints down in Brazil who let a sister travel through downtown in a city in Brazil at 1 a.m. in the morning making 2 or 3 train switches, BY HERSELF, for a 90 min. ride back to her house after being together with the saints. Did anyone notice or even question that? NO! No one questioned that. Letting a young woman travel through a city that’s 4 times worse than the worst part of LA at 1:30 in the morning. No one blinked an eye. It’s usually out of laziness, or because it just isn’t convenient. Never let “inconvenience” make your decision. Doing God’s will is GOING to be inconvenient. But so what? If you’re gonna do it Right, it’s gonna cost you. The other reason people “miss it” on even noticing the need to care for a woman, is because they are “comfortable” with it. You’re around something enough and you just get used to it being “normal.” You don’t think twice about it. The “traditions of men” nullify the Word of God. You can’t hear what God is currently saying about the matter because you’re anesthetized by the blind “tradition” of “it’s always happened this way.”

So safety is sure an issue, but the chances of getting mugged at Kroger, truthfully, are pretty slim. First of all, I SERIOUSLY doubt that the women would go to a grocery store in a bad neighborhood. They would surely look for a grocery store in a better area. And even then, they would likely desire to go together, rather than separately. Even the pagan police have said over and over again that this is by far the wisest thing to do—that many incidents of car-jacking take place in public parking lots in broad daylight. And THAT is in a nice area, at a grocery store. It should be obvious, too, that a grocery store is for people that come to do something, do it, and leave. How many fights have you seen at a grocery store?

Even when we’ve had volleyball with 200 people going, we have had cars stolen and others broken into. That is just the world we’re in. SO, what if your wife has a flat tire on the road? Wouldn’t you be THRILLED if a brother was driving right behind her to change it, instead of the first stranger that comes along? That’s GOT to be obvious. And a sister in the car with her—wouldn’t that be FAR superior to her being alone? And, the LOSS spiritually (“Where TWO OR THREE are—there I AM”) of not having people with you to pray or when you’re sharing Jesus, or to talk, or to help you see your areas of grievance to God in your life that you are blind to?

If God was right in 1 Corinthians 11 as we suppose He usually is : ), then man is the head of woman, AS Christ is the head of man. Would YOU want to go through life without JESUS there with you in the challenging times? Then IF we believe 1 Corinthians 11, why would we ever want to put women into an environment loaded with variables, and ask them to “be big and handle it”? SURE, they will statistically survive it, in all likelihood, but the fruit of doing things men’s way is always bad. Women become more masculine as they are put into roles that they should not be in, and identity crisis and conflicts in the home and dangerous things happen a thousand times more often than they would have if we were building properly. Russian Roulette. Not everyone dies—but someone will eventually. And their blood is on your hands if you have built foolishly. I have some blood on my hands from years ago, and my stupidity, and I can name a woman or two that are DEAD because my thinking was influenced by the patterns of the world, and not by God during those times on that subject. That’s only a small part of the reason that the men ought to cover and protect the sisters and children traveling around on their own and watching out for them in public places.

The MAIN reason a brother ought to care for a woman has to do with this: Do you ever see a man open a car door for a woman? Do you scoff at that? No. No one scoffs. They say, “Awww, isn’t that nice.” They like it. There’s something about it that people like—Chivalry isn’t dead afterall! Why do you put your coat down over a mud puddle for a woman to step across? Is it because she’s going to drown? Because she’s not strong enough to do it herself? Why do even the pagans know that you lay your coat down over the mud, rather than to let a true lady get her shoes dirty? There is an issue in the Spiritual realm that is not in essence about “safety” at all!! That IS an issue, but there is something MUCH deeper. Now SOME would never ever care to open a car door for a woman, and not that it should happen every time for things to be in order anyway. But some would NEVER do it, or THINK about doing it for a woman. I would have to suggest, or rather declare, that such a person does not have a sense of God in their hearts, in a whole realm that is immensely personal and important to God. If we would open a door for a woman, or help her with her chair or her coat—then the principle should be easily obvious that something a thousand times larger (like sending them down into a bad neighborhood) would matter far more than a car door.

It is a principle buried deep within the heart of God that we CARE FOR OUR WOMEN! They may not NEED the car door opened for them, but it is RIGHT in the Spirit to treat them like queens and princesses! It is a test of OUR characters to treat them lavishly and with sensitivity, and it is important for THEM also to not be forced to be masculine and lose the preciousness that God intended for them in His Pattern. There’s something about honoring her that is in God’s heart. He honors His Woman, His Bride. He’d die for her. He DID die for her! That’s the ultimate in chivalrous acts, wouldn’t you say? In the stuff of life is the place to reflect the deep love of the Son for His woman. We were MADE for that. We reflect that love and kindness and consideration of Jesus that He has for his Bride. We care for her as he cares for his woman. We were made to reflect the love of Jesus to those around us.

And OUR part, as men, is to open the door, cover the mud puddle, tie her shoe, carry the groceries in. Is it always convenient or logical to ruin a perfectly fine jacket in the mud? Or convenient to run across the street to help a woman with her groceries? No, it won’t usually need to make much sense. But it’s just RIGHT and it’s highly prized by the Father to have Eyes for those things and live that way. So make it your aim to think outside the box we all so easily get mesmerized into all our lives and see it as an opportunity to share in Jesus’ heart.

A man who knows God, will do that because THAT IS WHY WE WERE MADE! That’s exactly why men were made was to protect, cover, care for and love the woman. She’s the weaker vessel. Not that she’s weak in the “weakling” sense—she could easily walk around the puddle or open her own door. It’s because they are made as the weaker vessel and it’s what WE were made for is to care for them, by laying the coat down over the mud, and for opening the door.

And you just don’t know what that does for HER! You have no idea the effect that kind of care and actions has on a woman. If she’s sensitive to the Spirit and desires to play HER part as the weaker vessel, it is a total JOY to be treated that way. It warms her heart because it’s exactly the kind of care and honoring that SHE WAS MADE FOR. God MADE HER to be the recipient of that from the men. It helps her to be who she is meant to be on the inside. It speaks VOLUMES and changes her, without saying a word when a brother picks up the tab at a restaurant, opens a door, carries her 3-year-old for her. Volumes. Once (not just once really, because this and countless things like it happen ALL the time for those who Understand it) a sister went back for more Coke in a fast-food restaurant. She didn’t see the man who was also approaching from just around the corner. But one of the brothers who was out with the bunch that day, HE saw it coming. So he went and stood with her, very naturally and appropriately. Without a word. He KNEW his part and that was just the perfect thing to do. He was WATCHING and caring—not just zoning out, getting absorbed in his own good time. Or maybe next time he offered to get her refill for her, long before that scenario came up. : ) Either way, it’s very small gestures, but they will happen all the time with men who watch and care and KNOW WHY they’ve been made.

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