A Dream Last Night, From a Sister....
Last night I went to bed late and listened to a couple tracks before sleeping. “Fools Disobey” and “A Flower Quickly Fading”. It's insanity to disobey…we are like a vapor in the wind…we all know how quickly LIFE can deteriorate with the least little negligence and choices and sloppiness. I've felt that. I KNOW that. Jesus, I don't want to be that kind of airhead! I've felt it…two steps away from insanity. After a few hours of troubled sleep, I woke up about 4am after this dream - a picture of that emptiness and insanity.
I walked through a desolate place
The place went on and on
It seemed to be always night
With very dim lights
Every room or storefront was dark or half-lit gray
It was a complicated place
It was an utterly lonely place
And utterly unsatisfying.
Walking through endless rooms and streets with twists and turns
I was So weary and tired
But there was no place to find rest
I was Aching
But there was no place of comfort or healing
I was Lonely
But there was no one
There were strange sights
Nothing was interesting really
I was searching for a place to rest my head
I was searching for Home
But everything I drew close to
was plastic, brittle, fake, empty
Like the set of a stage
I knew it was not Home
I searched for someone
There was a hall of mannequins
Lots and lots of them
In glass cases on either side of the path
All torsos - half-people
All dressed up in fancy suits
It was like some kind of competition
Everyone looked a little different,
but they were all the same
They all wore dingy, grayish white uniforms with black trim
They had plastic faces
None were beautiful
Only Lifeless, staring, empty eyes and painted smiles
Some of them had glitzy pins attached to their lapels with the words "Lord, Lord" or "God"...like badges they claimed for themselves.
The words had no meaning for these lifeless, half-people
It was only part of their "special" decorations.
It only deepened my sadness.
I did a u-turn - that path was a deadend.
I continued to look for my people.
I passed a few "living", moving people - but they all seemed to be homeless and inebriated or sleeping lying in strange places wrapped in rags - they weren't reaching for help - only rolling over with their backs to me. They didn't care where they were.
They had nothing, but they didn't want anything else.
There was one city worker casually trying to clean up a mess, but he had a shovel with holes and really only spread the mess around more.
He was listless and never looked up, but even so, I knew I didn't know him.
The worker was in an empty auditorium - even their entertainment was dark, hollow, soundless, empty.
I left that place.
Someone asked if I was hungry
I was - Very hungry
But I realized where they directed me to find food was only a place to feed my flesh...but it was like an empty pig sty.
I left that place.
I felt my hunger only increasing.
I realized…after searching for what seemed for so long
Sleepless, weary, hungry, exhausted, so utterly lonely and empty to the core
With NOwhere in this place to find satisfaction…
This is a living hell.
This is the world.
That's when I woke up.
I knew -
This is what they feel - what I feel
When we don't KNOW
The Living Jesus,
When we don't FIND ALL SATISFACTION IN HIM.
I KNEW the only answer:
Turn to Jesus. Period.
We MUST HAVE HIM.
That's what I woke up thinking.
I wished I had found the beautiful, shining City in that place…that wasn't part of this dream. This was only what it's like without Home, without Hope, without a place of Rest and Peace and Fulfillment.
This dream was the insane place I could choose to stay in or go back to…the place I could fade to.
Or we could choose, as described in the track - to be a flower Blooming, FLOURISHING, spreading…perfect sanity, a sound mind…ever-increasing glory. Not selling yourself into insanity…but EVER-INCREASING sanity and love and forgiveness and character and substance and fruitfulness…Brighter and Brighter until the FULL DAY. And maybe we'll impact those in that dead place.