Hang on His Ankles

1996

Sometimes there’s a tension that takes place. On the one hand, “I just have to abide. I just have to fix my eyes on Jesus. I don’t have to worry about fruit.” And on the other hand, “The unfruitful branches are thrown in the fire. If you love Me you will keep My commandments. Well done, good and faithful servant.” There are all these issues to think about. “You saw me naked and you clothed me.” “When did I see you naked?”

In the things Jesus taught there appears to be a tension, but there really is no tension between the two at all. They are both part of one glorious truth, and that is: that the law is a schoolmaster that drives us to Christ. “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

To see what God’s calling us to and to see our inadequacy in that, forces us to make one of two or three choices. Either I can bail out and live in a dream world of, “Well, I love God and I’m abiding in Him because I pray, and if I don’t do anything that’s God’s fault not mine, because Hey, I’m abiding in Him and I’m fixing my eyes on Him, so I don’t have to worry about fruit.” And He said, “Depart from me you worker of inequity! You never knew Me.”

Then you say, “Woah, wait a minute! Bad choice! Let’s run this one back a little.” So now I’m going to go and bear fruit and do good works and make the best casserole in the whole church. I’m going to be the queen of fried chicken! Every doorstep in the neighborhood is going to have my fried chicken on it. Then you work yourself into a frenzy and beat yourself to a pulp and there’s nothing left anymore and you say, “What happened to God? Where is Jesus in all of this?” Meanwhile, no one was very impressed, even if it was a great casserole, because there was something in their heart that said, “Yeah, I see the sacrifice. I see the heart behind this. I see the desire to please God, but there is something missing in the aroma of it all. Boy, I hope they’re not trying to earn anything before God.” So I roll that one back. That’s a bad choice too.

To see God’s call on our life and to know that if we abide in Him we will bear much fruit, and the unfruitful branches are thrown into the fire. This vineyard that the Father has planted--yeah, it is true. One more year, then this tree is going to be cut down and thrown into the fire. Why should it take up ground? Those are things that Jesus taught us, and Paul and Peter and John all verified in many ways, and they are all true. But the thing that is meant to do is to drive us, maybe for the first time in our lives, probably in spite of ourselves and everything we know, to drive us to a place where we fall on the Rock and say, “Jesus, I can’t, but I know You can!” And you lose your self- sufficiency.

When you see the high calling, and your stubborn will and great willpower is insufficient for the task, then at last the seed can fall to the ground and die. Because if it won’t--no matter how strong your will is, how great your talent and energy level is, or how deep your despair is and feigned repentance that never bears any fruit and pity parties and bitterness against others and all that--none of that stuff is ever going to work. Someplace along the line we need to humble ourselves, fall before Jesus and submit our hard hearts and our stubborn wills and our cocky attitudes or our self-pity and fear and throw all that down and fall on Jesus’ ankles and just love Him and trust Him.

That’s a supernatural thing that we can’t attain with that great willpower and all those casseroles and all that despair isn’t going to buy it either. There’s something that God wants to do to us. It’s a supernatural change in our perspective that empties ourselves. It allows us to empty ourselves of our self-will and our ambition and our pride and our fear and our laziness and all those things and transforms us before the eyes of angels and men into the person He wants us to be.

These things are not two opposing truths. They are both unto the same thing of showing us how inadequate we are. It’s a good thing to know how inadequate we are. To lessen that call and say, “Hey, I don’t have to worry about bearing fruit. It doesn’t matter. If I abide in Him, I’ll bear fruit.” Well then, why did Jesus say what He said so many times? Of course it matters! It does matter and I shouldn’t be taking up ground. The land that drinks in rain and produces no fruit, what did the Hebrews writer say it was fit for?

Those things are all true, but the purpose of those things is not to pull myself up by my bootstraps and work harder like Martha did. It’s also not to fall into despair and say, “Ah, I can’t do anything. I’m worthless. I might as well quit. Give me my life raft.” But it’s rather to say, “Jesus, I realize now how much I need You. Apart from You I can do nothing.” Those are the hardest words to ever come out of mortal men’s mouths (other than just out of their head) is to say, “I need You.” What I lost in the garden when I became self-sufficient and wanted to be a god knowing good and evil and have control of my own life and my own time, my own priorities, my own relationships, and to do things my way… When we decided to make ourselves gods back in the Garden of Eden, we lost something very precious. And that was a true, real fellowship with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, rather than a hyper spiritual, theoretical, “I made it up in my own mind” kind of fellowship that’s based on reading a bunch of scriptures about it and claiming them. That’s not real fellowship.

Real fellowship is when we have lost our life. Then and only then, Jesus said, can we ever find it. The seed falls to the ground and dies when it realizes its inadequacy, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s a fearful thing, but it’s not a bad thing to see that we can’t be gods. We are not gods to judge others. We’re not gods to produce fruit. We’re not gods to reject others and to build our own ivory towers of independent life. But He really meant for us to soften our hearts and lay down before Him, to call on His Name and to trust Him. And then wiping the tear out of the eye and going forth with a peace and a courage that you could never have out of your own willpower.

Your busyness might bring courage, but it won’t bring peace. Your busyness might bring a lot of activity, but it won’t bring eternal fruit. And you’ll feel empty at the end of a very busy, fatiguing day and frustrated and tempted to be impatient or judgmental or isolate yourself in your own little fortress.

But God has really called us to See what He is after: to humble ourselves and hang on His ankles and turn it all over to Him. In that repentance we will find peace. In that turning we will find His satisfaction and His courage, where all of a sudden, Tim doesn’t matter anymore, and Dana doesn’t matter anymore and Mike and Dave don’t matter anymore. There’s a courage that comes just from resting in Him and then producing that fruit tirelessly. Never fainting, never turning back. No hurt feelings, no fears. It’s a supernatural transition.

It’s not one idea opposed to the other. One is, “bear fruit” and the other is, “abide in Him.” Those things are not opposed to each other. It’s the process of God doing something supernatural in us that we can’t really do for ourselves. But it’s to see that call and demand those things from ourselves. That’s not bad and that’s not unhealthy. But to realize finally, at long last that the only source is really, apart from Him, we can do nothing of any real value.

I wish I could’ve said it better. I wish I could take it and give it to you, but I know the nature of the Word of God is that it’s a seed. At least hear it and at least plant it in your heart that it’s okay to have the high calling of God. It’s okay to have the fruitfulness, and all the things that He has wanted you to be and do. It’s okay to have that in front of you to drive you to the real Jesus rather than the American Jesus or the one we’ve put in our own little box under our own terms and our own description. To drive us to the real Jesus, and the Godhead that we can truly have Life. “Unless the seed falls to the ground and dies it abides alone.” Don’t think it strange when you see people dying because those are the seeds of life and of birth. True life is always born in a grave. And Calvary comes before the grave. And that’s okay. It’s a good thing.

Father, we need You to interpret these things and apply these things in our lives. We need Your help in watching other people die and helping what Your Spirit is doing and not hurting it. We want true life for each of our brothers and sisters, wherever they may be. Supernatural life is the only thing that has any real value to You. You’re not looking for a bunch of nice people to do good things and sing during certain events. You’re not interested in all of that. You want people that truly know You and love You and live in You and experience Your life in every way that Your Son Jesus did.

We know there has to be a death involved in order to find true life. So, we ask You, our Father, to help us understand these things. Help us to see satan’s tactics to throw us into despair, or to throw us into another round of self-will that actually thwarts Your purposes for us. Teach us how to come to Your Son and humble ourselves before Him. Teach us what it means to fall on the rock in the midst of a crisis or discouragement or failure or even a victory.

Our God, please interpret these things for Your people and teach us Your ways. We know that the only thing that’s really going to threaten the evil empire that our enemy and Your enemy has built is supernatural life. So we know it’s in Your best interest to speed that process along in each of our lives. And we’re inviting You to do that. To interact with us in any way that You possibly can to bring us to a place where we can see You and know You and be Jesus. The depth of character and the depth of love, the depth of passion, the depth of zeal for Your house--all those things that were found in Your Son. We invite You into each of our lives to expose and to uproot and tear down and destroy and overthrow in order that You can build and plant the life of the eternal Son of God in each of us. Teach us. Amen.