Consider Who You Hug
9/6/1991
This isn’t related to that directly, but I feel like it’d be a good teaching-oriented thing for each of us as we continue to learn how to build the wall, that the enemy might not come in and harm the holy temple, which is the Spirit of God living within you. It’s a really practical thing, and it has the potential of creating some paranoia or some weirdness. I’d like to admonish you against that, but I do want to sharpen you.
An observation over the last bunch of years: people basically fellowship around one of two different things. They fellowship around the Spirit, or they fellowship around the “seen” world (common interests or personalities or such things as that). When that word “fellowship” is used in the Scriptures, it has to do with an OPENING OF OUR HEARTS. John talked about a fellowship that we have with one another because we are walking in the light together. If you read in 2 Corinthians 6, Paul speaks of a fellowship that can’t happen if there’s light and darkness in two different people. “What fellowship does light have with darkness?”
So, when you consider the word “fellowship,” don’t look at it the way the world does, even the religious world, but view it the way God views it. View it the way the Scriptures teach it. And that is, it doesn’t have to do with happy time, some happy hour, big party of relationship, hugs and all this sort of stuff. In fact, there are a lot of popular books around that lift up the idea of “church life,” and “church life” is apparently defined as hanging around a lot together and having a lot of things in common, having happy party times.
And while that may be an ASPECT of fellowship, it certainly isn’t the BASIS of fellowship. And what I’d like you to consider is, when you go up and hug somebody, know why you’re hugging them. Are you hugging them because you have fellowship with them in the Spirit? There’s a light in your heart and a light in their heart and life that causes you to join together. When you’re glad to see somebody walk into the room, is it because they have common interests or they’re funny? Is it some sort of external thing that you buddy around with? That’s not fellowship. It’s not fellowship to buddy around with people. Fellowship has got to be based on a spiritual relationship, or it’s not really Biblical fellowship.
Consider who you hug and why you hug them. Consider who you grasp and talk to, open your heart to, express joy to, and laugh with. Consider why you’re doing that. Now, like I said, I’m not interested in bringing any unnecessary paranoia or anything like that, but I want to eliminate any kind of “fellowship” that is a worldly fellowship as a basis for a relationship. If you’re not spiritually strong and fruitful in your life, and you find yourself always buddying around with, “fellowshipping” with people of your own spiritual level and maturity, then it’s the wrong kind of fellowship. It isn’t fellowship at all from a Biblical standpoint. It’s just buddying around like the world does. It’s “church life” like the book says, but it isn’t GODLY life the way GOD says.
Our fellowship is based on walking in the light together. And if you’re busy hugging, embracing, laughing with, fooling around with, and buddying around with people that you’re not touching their heart and they’re not touching yours, your life isn’t being challenged by theirs and theirs isn’t being challenged at all by yours (and I don’t mean you don’t throw in a few spiritual conversations now and then, but I mean actually penetrating the heart)—if you don’t know who they are really spiritually, then you’re not fellowshipping with them. It’s just buddying as the world does. If there is a godly sorrow and a worldly sorrow—a godly sorrow that brings repentance and a worldly sorrow that brings death—there’s also a godly fellowship that glorifies God and changes our lives and a worldly fellowship that’s a counterfeit and blocks our ability to see and hear truth. I just want to encourage you away from that.
Next time you’re embracing somebody, don’t do it because they happen to be part of the church. Are they really part of the church? Well, that all depends. We don’t have any membership roll. We don’t have any members’ banquet or any placards to hand out to anybody. People that are part of God’s church are people that are walking in the light together, with one another in the light of the exposure of His word and the penetrating enlightenment and challenge and change of His word—or it isn’t really walking in the light. Therefore, according to the apostle John, it’s not really fellowship.
So, I’m not saying every conversation you have needs to be heavy. In fact, far from that! But I am saying, know who you’re hugging and why you’re hugging them. It has nothing to do with the fact that they hang around here. You may be doing them more harm than good. You might be hugging sin and not even know it because you don’t care. That’s not the basis of your discernment or the basis of your decision-making process. If the basis of your decision-making process is that you like them, they’re neat, they like what you like, they happen to play GeoChess or play softball or bowl or whatever it is—if that’s the basis of your fellowship, and you have spiritual conversations in addition to that, then it’s not fellowship at all, and you’re probably going to stunt your own growth as well as theirs.
Be penetrating into relationships that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE, and don’t buddy around in some sort of clique where everyone is all basically of the same level, even if you talk about so-called deep, spiritual things. If it isn’t changing your life and causing you to reach out into other people’s lives, if it becomes self-serving and self-centered, then it’s not really fellowship at all. If you find the same group of people continually at your house, or continually in your relationship, you’d better know why that is, and it had better have a purpose other than just your own personal interests and the “clique-oriented” sense of things. Make sure that you’re pushing into things that will change your life, and your fellowship is based on walking in the light together.
Be careful who you hug and why you hug them. It’s very important that you judge a spiritual judgment, a righteous judgment, and not after the flesh. Don’t see men after the flesh. If they happen to hang around, that doesn’t make any difference. See no man after the flesh. In the church here (or what appears to be the church here, or not), it makes no difference. Know why you’re doing it. If you hug them, you’re making a covenant with them. You’d better know why you’re doing it, not just because they’re your buddy. Okay? It’s really important that we get a hold of this thing, because our lives together and God’s ability to bless us and change us are very much tied into the definition of what true fellowship is, as opposed to hanging around.
The word of God has got to be emanating throughout and piercing and penetrating and knitting together lives, or it’s just a big club with a religious logo instead of some secular logo. It’s got to be real, or it’s not really fellowship. Again, I don’t mean to say that every conversation has to be some deep thing. I don’t mean anything like that. I just mean, know why you do what you do. Have something more in mind than your own personal edification or gratification or yucking it up to have a good time. That’s not church life. That’s not ekklesia life to buddy around. There will be a lot of fun times and all that kind of stuff, but know why you do what you do. See no man after the flesh. Does that make sense to everyone?
It’s real important, and if you won’t live that way, you’ll end up finding yourself in some real serious traps, and I don’t want that to happen to anyone. So see no man after the flesh. No man. Not me, not anybody else. If it’s not reality, don’t judge after perceptions, or reputations, or external sorts of things. Don’t judge after anything other than spiritual discernment. Be a prophetic people, as the prophecy from Joel and from Peter by the Holy Spirit said that you were to be and could be and would be. Be a prophetic people. Live that way. See no man after the flesh.
