"Why Do the heathen rage?"

12/17/2005

ACTUALLY, what the heathens don’t know WILL hurt them, their marriages, and their Destiny.

It’s really quite amazing. It explains a LOT of things. Some fairly conclusive studies (of those who don’t have Jesus living inside of them, or are part of attendance-based religions and isolated lives and families) shed a lot of light on why the “focus on the family” generation is totally falling apart at the seams, and divorce is at a 55% rate, even in the religious world. And most of the relationships that don’t end in divorce “because of the children” or “because of the expense” or “because of what others would think”—those relationships are generally FAR from God’s Heart on the matter, and filled with selfish independence, pride, love of the world, family idolatry (also a form of love of the world), and worse.

Why DO so many marriages and “church relationships” and other forms of relationships in the world, and in the religious system, end in catastrophe?

Below are some eye-popping observations about how relationships fail, when Jesus is not Head and His Ways are not embraced. According to the University of Washington, cutting edge neuroscience studies, an analytical study technique known as “thin slicing,” and some pagan geniuses—there are four primary ways that humans relate to each other that are SO destructive, that without Jesus’ love and obedience, there is virtually NO hope for that relationship or the future.

They Call Them “The Four Horsemen”

When two humans, whether in a marriage or any other important relationship, begin to do these four things to one another, there is “a 94% probability” (apart from submission to and love of Jesus and CHANGE that can only happen “in Christ”) that they will spiral into negativity, and consequently there will be NO FURTHER HOPE FOR THAT RELATIONSHIP outside of Jesus.

Here are the “Four Horsemen” that so easily, like gravity from a 300 meter cliff or 50-story building’s edge, can create calamity:

1) The First Horseman: DEFENSIVENESS. Instead of listening and trying to extract value and good from remarks or criticism, fair or unfair—the immediate response is to close one’s ears, and lash back with no concern for change or harmony, but only self.

2) The Second Horseman: STONEWALLING. Turning away from challenging situations, clamming up, cold-shouldering, shutting down emotionally when circumstances are painful, or by playing the hypocrite with fake smiles or small-talk or subject changes, rather than solving the root issues in love.

3) The Third Horseman: CRITICISM. This evil destroyer speaks in negatives, and often in absolutes and global condemnations. “You never listen.” “You are always this way.” “You can’t do anything right.” “You are insensitive.” “You are fat.” “You are selfish.” “You don’t love me.” “You are __, you always __, you can’t even __, why don’t you ever __.”

4) CONTEMPT: The Fourth Horseman, the Dark King of all the Horseman, the ultimate Destroyer of life and love. Far more damaging than even the other three insidious Selfish Princes of Darkness, as terrible as they are, is CONTEMPT. Contempt can be delivered in demeaning tone of voice, or by facial expression, or within the words of the discourse with another. Contempt is to place yourself on a “higher plane” than another and speak in disgust of “what they are.” It can strut a “domineering” or “bullying” or “authoritarian” air, or simply degrade another by implying or stating the lower state of the other. Contempt is the exact opposite of Philippians 2:1-16 and Luke 9:23-24, it would seem. Treating another with “contempt” by facial expression or voice tone, or speaking to them as if they are “less than” in value or potential is a death-blow of darkness.

If these “Four Horsemen” are present (unrecognized or tolerated) in a relationship amongst unBelievers or those in an unBiblical “attendance-based” religious environment (where no “daily” —Heb.3:12-14, 1Cor.12, Acts 2:42-47 interactions surrounding and amplifying Jesus’ Lordship and Love exist), there is a 94% chance that the relationship will terminate in divorce, of one form or another. 

The Spiral Staircase to the Dungeon

When these characteristics are present in a relationship, rather than their opposites, the statistical proof is that “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” By the way, “over 50%” of unSaved people do not even recognize these traits in themselves until they are shown themselves in conversation on video. They can pass a “lie detector test” that they “aren’t that way”—until they see themselves with their own eyes.

And whatever “is”… will SPIRAL into good—or evil, love—or disdain and separation. It’s just how it is. You have seen it, both positive and negative, no doubt. In a “honeymoon state” or in a “parental protection mode” there is the potential for a dishonest “positive emotion override” where we make excuses for others’ poor behavior. “They didn’t mean anything by it” and “They’re just really tired right now.” The opposite also happens, almost universally, when not “checked” by the Spirit and Truths of Christ Jesus. When a relationship begins to allow the Four Horsemen into their home or relationship, without the Change only submission to the Living Messiah can bring, NINETY-FOUR PERCENT OF THE TIME that relationship will be devastated. When “negative emotional override” begins to dominate and control the people in that relationship, 94% of the time, on human strength, the relationship CANNOT and WILL NOT turn around. In “negative emotional override” there can be nothing good on the other person’s part. You’ve seen it. You’ve tasted it within your own bones. Any act of kindness or words of encouragement, when there is no Presence or Standard of Jesus, are instantly construed as “hypocritical” and “selfish” acts by a manipulative person. Everything becomes clouded. Any act to “repair” the relationship by one person is considered dishonest, untrustworthy, and further “proof” of how despicable they are. Any attempt at intervention or help by an outside party is interpreted by the “hurt” person as “teaming up against them” or that outside person is gullible and has been manipulated by the guilty party, and can’t be trusted either.

Ninety-Four Percent of the time that the Four Horsemen are not recognized, or not renounced when they burst into a home or relationship, the RELATIONSHIP DIES.  94% is a REALLY high number, and everyone thinks THEY will be the exception. Almost NO ONE is the “exception”—obviously. You won’t be either. Better get it Right, for Jesus, while you can?

Homework Assignments Aren’t Just for Children

The word “Disciple” (Luke 14:27, Mat.10:24-39) is a synonym for “Christian” from Acts, Chapter 11 (circa 40 A.D.) until the end of Time. What does this word, in the language that Jesus spoke, actually MEAN? A religious “attender”? No, of course not. There is no such “church” in the Bible that can be “attended.” Does “Disciple” mean “a person who knows and can repeat ‘good teaching’”? Certainly not. The devil can do that, as he demonstrated to Jesus, and James declared. The word Disciple (also later to be known as “a Christian”) means “Apprentice” “Student” “Learner” “Understudy” “Intern”! He is, as Jesus insisted, a “DOER” not a repeater of words. He is a person who has Learned of Jesus, and then “put into practice” and learned to “OBEY all things He commanded.” As Peter said, “He left us an example that we should follow in His steps.” John declared, by the Holy Spirit, “Anyone that claims to be in Him must walk as He walked.” To be a Disciple is to be a LEARNER and APPRENTICE, an UNDERSTUDY who DOES what the Master does, not just repeats some of His words when convenient, like a lucky rabbit’s foot, to defend his or her “position.” The PROOF is in the Life, the Fruit, the Spirit—or we are “none of His,” saith the Lord.

SO! Here’s the “homework assignment” for whichever Learners or Disciples would like to deepen your Walks with Him and His: Totally repudiate and crush the Four Dark Horsemen, one by one, with the Truths of God. Demonstrate with specific Teachings of Jesus, examples of Jesus, and in the Scriptures… the EXACT OPPOSITE of those Four Evil Princes and Destroyers, above. Replace them with a list of Truths that are of God, on paper, if you will. And then PUT INTO PRACTICE what you know to be True in your relationships! You’ll find that those who WANT to live for Jesus will flourish. Of course we accept the Biblical fact that not all WANT the real Jesus—some only know the native tongue and ways of the devil, and refuse to be Changed. But, if we will live as Jesus lived in these matters, by the life and power of His Spirit, many relationships will flourish and Change. Men and women will willingly come up from the Dungeon—to be Washed and Cleansed. Try it. Jesus is there waiting, with open arms! “A cord/chord of three strands is not easily broken.”

•  "Why Do the heathen raaaaaage?"