Anatomy of a Spiritual Suicide


Monday Evening, November 4, 1996

Ways to destroy yourself and waste into nothing, drifting far away from Jesus…

1) Maintain ties—unchallenged and unbroken relationships with children of the devil. (“Children of the devil” is the description that the Bible, and God call those who have not given Jesus ownership of their lives and become washed in His Blood in a second birth.) Let these relationships lie dormant, or boldly fellowship with the unregenerate, non-disciples of Jesus in your family, your workplace, your past, your neighborhood, or other stomping ground. Either way, whether you pursue the relationships or just keep them on hold in the background, if you want to commit spiritual suicide, leave the doors open to embrace them as if they are the same as you, and part of you. Let it be “okay” with you to open your heart and affections to them. Have fond memories of them, and the things you did or could do with those that have not bowed before Jesus. Maintain heart ties with unbelievers. Thus saith the lord of darkness.

2) Keep some secrets back about your past. Don’t say or imply too much to anyone, particularly those that are strong in Christ, about past or current tendencies or temptations (the things that are still “alive” in your bones that you know are not from Jesus). Convince yourself that it is not in anyone’s best interest to know who you really are. If they knew, they’d reject you for sure, so just keep it to yourself and, perhaps, solve it yourself.

3) Tell half-truths about what you think, how you feel, where you’re going, and what you’re doing. Confess things to Jesus only, and don’t be open and vulnerable to your brothers and sisters. They don’t understand like Jesus does. Keep everyone guessing and make sure they feel like they are being nosy if they try to care for you. Give them impressions that are only partially accurate. Project an image, and don’t let anything or anyone inside of it. Maybe not even yourself. That could be depressing. Resent all intrusions into your space.

4) Allow attitudes to dominate your mind and control your thoughts and emotions. Let things like judgments or misery or lust or guilt or weakness or pain or loneliness or self-hatred or resentment of your circumstance or of others’ circumstances to have full reign over you. Allow your mind to go wherever it pleases without challenge. Let the “temperature” go up in your mind by toying with radical or sloppy thoughts and emotions—without stopping them intentionally. Let them run until they’re out of control. Let the avalanche begin with little stones of wrong thoughts unchecked, and let these thoughts build into something immense and unstoppable. Don’t renounce thoughts; after all, you’re just being realistic. (And besides, that’s just who you are, since you thought the particular thought. It obviously originated inside of you…sooo, that’s who you are and how you think.) Revel in the thoughts, or swim in them, or just tolerate them. But whatever you do, don’t CHANGE those thoughts, saith the worm.

5) Permit yourself to sin without clear repentance. It’s not really your fault. Someone else or your terrible circumstance is to blame. Besides, you deserve destruction anyway. Why should He waste His grace on you? So why fight it?! Die, saith the twisted lord of the flies.

6) Make sure that you are the only true authority in your life. Not the Word of God. Don’t allow the Word of God to cause you to drop everything and relent. Don’t give it THAT kind of authority. You would be taking it too literally. And don’t give any true authority in your life to anyone that the Bible would call “over you in the Lord.” That is a faulty concept. Reserve final judgment and “last say” in every matter of importance for yourself. After all, who is better qualified to decide than you? And it’s a fact that no one can be trusted to have authority in your life but you.

7) Sow bad seed whenever you’re in the mood. Watch television or do other things that are “on” or “over” the Line of God’s Desire. Do it whenever you want, and when you’re bored or depressed. Especially do it as soon as you know that no one who Cares could find out about it. You can handle it. They may be too weak to handle things like that, but you’re not. Let’s not be so extreme.

8) Long to be by yourself. Enjoy your own company best. Prefer to do things by yourself in most cases. At least stay in control of the matter so that you can decide whether you want other people involved or not! The solitude of your own thoughts is preferred to pouring your life out for others. They’ll probably all let you down anyway. Or just waste your time. It’s safe with just you.

9) Always view yourself as “the exception” to any teaching or Truth that you hear. Believe that it was said a certain way to certain people, so it doesn’t apply to you. Though clearly it makes sense for most people, your circumstances are different.

10) Consider yourself often. Consider your appearance, your rights, the things you have done, the things you can do, the work of your hands, the impressiveness of your speech or thoughts or creativity or clothing or body or skills. Think about yourself (whether good or bad) and dwell on “externals” often.

11) Love yourself, or, if you’d prefer, even hate yourself. Either way will do if you want to degrade yourself and your Best Friend. Be self-absorbed. Self-awareness, self-consciousness, and self-thoughts on an ongoing basis, whether self-love or self-hatred, guarantee that we lose our heart for Jesus.

12) Don’t do “right” things because you talk to Jesus about them and offer the good choices as a gift to Him. Just do the right things because everyone expects you to, or because you might get caught (and that would look bad or cost too much), or because it’s just “the good christian life.” Don’t talk to Jesus about it directly. Let it be a lifestyle choice or a reluctant compromise. And if you fail, be sure to feel bad about it, but don’t apologize to Jesus or confess it to others and ask them to talk to Jesus on your behalf.

13) Shut down your mind and your heart when things are tough. It doesn’t do any good to talk. They’re just words anyway. Why bother? You’ve heard it all before. Just shut down. It’s safer in there if you don’t let anything in, or anything out.

14) Be so consumed with your view of end-time theories, conspiracy theories, conservative politics, church methodology, church government, not “rocking the boat,” or avoiding false teaching…that Jesus and people aren’t your passion anymore. Let fear, pride, ambition and family heritage eat up the time and energy that is meant for God and His Bride.

15) Maintain your composure at all times. Never be humble. That would be viewed as weakness. Remain proud and keep your head up high.

16) Never tell really revealing things about yourself to anyone. They might use it against you in the future. And you will be viewed as weak or immature.

17) Interpret God’s Word the way it best suits you, and for whatever circumstance you wish to manipulate. After all, there are contradictions all throughout the Scriptures. Don’t ask wise and true brothers and sisters to help you understand. They wouldn’t see it from your point of view.

18) Think about how other people will view what you say or do instead of thinking about what God wants you to say and do. Other people’s reaction and viewpoints to what you do or say are more important than what God has asked you to do. Always think of the consequences of what God has asked you to do, and THEN decide if you should do it.

19) View yourself as the weaker part of the body and therefore don’t contribute to the whole. If you are the “belly button” there is no expectation of participation. So you can stay quiet because you don’t have anything to offer anyway.

20) Believe that it’s okay if you go two or three days without talking to Jesus. He knows you love Him. If you think nice thoughts, say grace before your meals, and have warm fuzzies about Him, that will help you draw closer to Him and know Him better.

21) Find something spiritual about the things you really want to do for entertainment sake…videos, basketball, golf, hunting or whatever. And convince others of its spiritual value for them, too.

22) If you have questions about something in someone else’s life or your own life, don’t ask people who can help. Just wonder about it, but don’t do anything about it. Someone else will notice. Someone else will do something. They’re probably more qualified than you anyway. So, just sit and watch and do not risk contributing anything.

23) Be content in your current circumstances and don’t expect to grow in maturity. Don’t do anything too aggressively. Don’t make any hard decisions or act decisively. If your hand causes you to sin, talk to it at length and do a “bible study” on it. You’ve always been the same and you always will be, so why bother? saith the king of hell.

24) Always choose your words carefully. Don’t ever say anything that you’re not certain you’re absolutely right about. You don’t ever want to be wrong about anything.

25) Build walls between you and others by holding critical thoughts, judgments and opinions. Judge others for their decisions and actions. Reserve your right to criticize in your heart. Let it sit there and then forget about it, believing it really isn’t bad seed. They were just fleeting thoughts (or so you think).

Do you know the “Antidote” for each of these?

The Antidotes and Solutions for these problems can be found throughout this 10 book series. (Where’s Waldo? : ) ) Find them. They’re Glorious!
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